this isn’t a, “goodbye.” just a, “see you a later.”

Hi. Remember me? If not, don’t worry. I’m not offended.

So as you can tell by my title, I’m gonna take a break from blogging. It’s nothing bad, really! It’s actually all good. Really, truly amazing. Blogging is time consuming and to be honest, I would rather spend that time with my friends.

I love this school. This state. These people. My life. I am happy, and I will never get tired of saying that. I’ve worked hard to reach this happiness and gosh darn it, I’m not letting it go.

If you ever need somebody to talk to about disordered eating, depression, body image, school, life, running, exercise, or just to say hi, you are moreee than welcome to send me an email ( adidasqueen1000@yahoo.com ). You are also more than welcome to add me on Facebook. If you’re a reader or fellow blogger, keep in touch!

I may be back to this good ‘ol blog one of these days, but for now, I just want you all to know that you are amazing. Thank you so much for your continued support. Without your help, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And today, I am happy, healthy, and right where I need to be.

See you later.

I’m Home

Long time no blog! These past couple of weeks have been m.a.d.n.e.s.s. In a good way though! Let me bring you all up to date as to what I have been doing:

• I moved into my dorm and have decorated like crazy.
• I started classes. Love them all so far.
• I have met amazing people. I already know some will be lifelong friends.
• I have been happy. Very. Very. Very. Happy.
• I got first place in the Welcome Week 5k. (Pat on the back, Haley.)
• I played in an intramural basketball game. We lost first round but it was still fun.
• I played in intramural dodgeball. Once again, got out first round…and hit in the stomach. Good things I have abs of steel
• I went to the first football game of the season. We crushed the other team. Holla! My friends and I got into it by painting our faces. Gotta show that school pride.
• I hung out with people until 1am playing guitar and singing. A very cool and peaceful experience.
• I’ve checked out a few churches.
• I’ve done community service work. We collected cans for the homeless. It was about 100 degrees out but so worth it.
• I did a Brazilian martial arts class. That was interesting…
• I did 3 hours of zumba.
• I also think I have found what I would like to do with my life: nutritionist in an eating disorder. Since recovering, I have found how amazing life is without an ED and I want to share that with those suffering. Life is beautiful and so are you.

Let me tell you what I have not been doing:

• Allowing the ED to control my life. I have seriously never felt more free from the ED that held me back just a little while ago. I am eating food that I once refused to eat. I don’t focus on exercise after eating a certain meal. I just roll with the punches and accept what comes my way. For example, at the tailgate for the football game, it was pulled pork sandwiches and chips. Uhhh…can you say fear food central?? Well I didn’t let it stop me from enjoying the people I was with. So I ate the food. And I’m still alive today. *gasp*
• Sitting in my room. I spend as little time in my dorm as possible. It’s not a bad thing! It’s just that there is so many more things to do. Library, campus center, friend’s dorm, you name it. I am basically only in my dorm to sleep/nap. I gotta socialize!

So to put it simply, life is amazing right now. I’ve never been happier. This school is where I am supposed to be. I’ve found a place I can call home. I know it’s still pretty early in the year but I definitely didn’t feel like this last year at my old school.

Thank you, Texas. I’m home.

P.S. I’m sorry for not commenting all your blogs like I would like! Once life slows down, you better believe I will be back to reading. In the meantime, stay awesome ya’ll!

for the first time in a long time….

I’m happy. 

When I wake up in the morning, I am excited about what the day brings. Who I’ll see, what I’ll do, and what will happen. It’s a combination of things. First off, school. I’ve only been here a couple of days and I love it. Everyone is so darn nice and I am beyond stoked to get started with my major. I like my roommate and the other girls in my dorm. So all that is going well.

Another reason I’m happy is because of the boy I’ve talked about. Even though he is still in California and I’m now in Texas, I’ve never felt so cared for as I have since being with him. I feel special and I’m happy. But the hard part about all this is my dad. He still doesn’t approve. As a matter of fact, he threatened to send me home if I continued to talk to the boy. No school. So we made an agreement but he still doesn’t trust me. But the thing he doesn’t see is that I’m HAPPY with school and the boy. Take away one part of it, and I’m not happy anymore.

I see where my dad is coming from. He is my father and I am his baby girl. But at the same time, if I’m happy with where my life is, he should accept that. Also, in order to grow up, I need to make mistakes. Maybe this relationship is a mistake. Who knows. But I need to learn from situations like this.

I have become such a strong person through the years and I know I can handle myself so much better when stressful situations arise. Also, in a way, the boy has helped me with the eating disorder. Being a Texas boy, he is used to eating meat and potatoes. In turn, I have eaten burgers, french fries, and other foods I used to refuse to eat. I don’t go home regretting what I ate because I’m happy with where my life is. I’m happy with school and my relationship. What would make it even better is if my dad was there to be happy for me too.

Any advice? 

where has the summer gone?

To say this summer was amazing is an understatement. It was the first summer in about 5 years that I didn’t have basketball controlling my life. I lived life like a normal teen: summer job, beach, friends, etc. It was also the first summer in a long time where I didn’t feel the ED controlling my every thought and move. It was such a free feeling and I wouldn’t take this past summer back for anything. Since it was so amazing, let’s look over some highlights

• Like I said, I got a summer job at a vegan restaurant. I absolutely lovedddd working there! I made some amazing friendships and learned a lot. I hope to go back next summer, but who knows. 
• I took some summer classes. Those weren’t fun, but they were online so that helped. Not gonna lie, I wasn’t the best student. I turned in some assignments late, didn’t do some readings, and sometimes just skipped out on assignments all together. But I got my shiz together and passed both classes! 
• I’ve been a bad blogger this summer. I owe you all an apology! I’m sorry. Things were going so fast this summer that if I was on the computer, it was only to do the summer class work. When I post less, my life is generally going better. This blog is my outlet so if things are going reallyyy bad, I blog almost on a daily basis. But if they’re going good, I just pop in every once in awhile. So, things have been going good!
• I also want to apologize for not commenting on all your blogs. There were times where I just had to empty my reader because I had zero time.
• I conquered fear foods like no other. I posted about it here but I also faced (and defeated) a lot more. Cheese, ice cream, butter, red meat, unorganic chicken, white bread, candy, grilled cheese, french fries, and cupcakes (vegan and non vegan). I even ate a Taco Bell quesadilla. If somebody were to look at this list, they would say it was unhealthy. But to be honest, I’ve never felt healthier. Because I’m not focusing so much on what I’m eating, I have been able to loosen up and focus on the people around me and how I’m feeling. My mental health has never been better. Therefore, I feel better about myself. 
• I loosened up a lot. I used to be such a prick. No joke. During high school, it was school, basketball practice, or home. I didn’t do anything fun. This has been the summer for me to let loose. I hung out with friends on a whim and even drank. I know I sound like a hypocrite because I posted about not drinking here but I’ve reconsidered a lot in my life. 
• I got a boyfriend. My dad still hates this, therefore, he does not know that we are still dating. It’s been going really good between the boy and me. He got back from pre deployment and we hung out a couple of times. Now I’m off to Texas but he will visit his family in September and visit me in the process.
• I got, not 1, but 2 cartilage piercings! My motto this summer has been YOLO. I know it’s overused and annoying but it’s so great. My parents weren’t too mad about the first piercing so I decided to get the second one. Partly for me, partly to piss my dad off. I told my mom about it but my dad hasn’t even noticed yet. YOLO.
• I went to the beach a lot more than usual. I have never been a beach person. But this summer, I realized that I actually like to go! I went with my friends a few times and even solo a few. I’m gonna miss it, that’s for sure. 
• I went to a couple concerts. I talked about the Tim McGraw/Kenny Chesney concert here but I also went to a Brantley Gilbert/Toby Keith concert. I am a hugeeee Brantley Gilbert fan so that’s how I originally heard about the concert. Brantley was amazing, didn’t cease to amaze me, that’s for sure. And Toby Keith was an awesome entertainer! 
• My friendships got stronger. I used to always be the girl who would make up a lame excuse when asked to hang out. But now, I’m the one asking my friends to hang out. Or if they call last minute, I’m more than likely to say yes. I got much closer with my friends and I’m going to miss them SO much. And that just about sums up my summer! I’m currently in Albuquerque, New Mexico and we make the final part of the drive into Texas tomorrow. So. Stoked!

What was your highlight from the summer?  

a summer lovin’ WIAW

Hey-o! And I’m back. Things have been busy around these parts, plus I’ve been trying to enjoy every last bit of summer I have left. Family, friends, beach, kayaking, parties. That basically sums up this past week. Another exciting thing that happened was that I had my first ever blogger meet-up! I met up with Theresa at Yogurtland while she was home for the weekend. She was just as sweet, nice, and funny as she is on her blog! I loved sitting down and talking to her and can’t wait to keep it touch

Egg white and veggies on an oat bran bagel

My favorite Starbucks drink (and yes, they hate me when I order this)

Ensalada Azetca from work: romaine (I subbed in kale), mango lime vinagrette, avocado, currants, pumpkin seeds, jicama, and salsa

Mint chocolate protein powder and water

Tofu spring rolls

Breakfast with my friend! She got the bowl and I got the Chocolate Dream smoothie which has avocado, nut milk, ice, agave, cocoa powder, carob nibs, and dates

Veggie spring rolls, peanut sauce, crackers of some sort, and wasabi peas

Nachos at work made into a burrito and some leftover fries from a coworker. Healthy? Nope. Delicious. You bet.

“Greenie Bowl” which has acai berries, banana, nut milk, kale, and spinach topped with bananas, strawberries, blueberries, and granola

Red curry soup from work. My favorite!

Beach food: Chicken breast, avocado, and chipotle sauce

Nacho pizza from work. This really isn’t on the menu but the cook made it for me and it’s basically “taco meat,” chipotle sauce, salsa, black beans, green onions, romaine, and tortilla strips on a whole wheat pizza crust.

Sandwich from Whole Foods the size of my face. Hummus, baba ganoush, chicken, lettuce, tomato, red onion, carrots, cucumber, daiya cheese, and avocado on a whole wheat baguette

Apple with almond butter and raw oats

We had a little going away party for my sister and me so my mom made some Southern food in honor of Texas. Chicken gumbo and cornbread. Holla!
Pecan bar and coconut cupcake
Chicken, avocado, roasted veggies, tomato, and BBQ sauce
Vanilla cupcake + beach = perfection

And there you have it! Now I’m off to work!

Have you ever done a blogger meet up before?
How have you been enjoying this last bit of summer?
What’s the best thing you’ve eaten recently? 

do you ever…

Hear a song that sends chills down your back? I don’t know if my current emotions at the time, the fact that country music is just so darn amazing, or a combination of the two. Everything is still going great, but my emotions are all over the place! Not only is it *cough* that time of month, but add in the fact that I miss my boyfriend, and I leave for Texas in 2 (TWO!) weeks, I’ve been a bit on edge. Lately I have been absolutely loving anything by Josh Abbott Band and Kip Moore. Play either one and I’m sure to get all giddy.

See a music video that basically describes your life at the moment? I turned on the TV this morning and CMT music videos were playing. Well it just so happened to be “Ours” by Taylor Swift. I could not believe how accurate the song and music video was. Let’s look at some of the lyrics, shall we?

“Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves” MY DAD! It’s not that he necessarily ‘disapproves’ of the relationship, but I think he wants to look over his baby girl as much as possible.

“Your hands are tough but they are where mine belong in” Okay this might be corny or whatever but he works on helicopters so by the end of the day, his hands are greasy and rough.  

‘”Cause I love the gap between your teeth” True. I do.

“And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored” My dad hatesss tattoos but guess what, my boyfriend has one. 

Then the music videos finishes off with Taylor Swift seeing her boyfriend who is a marine! Taylor Swift speaking to my life, once again.

See something on pinterest or other blogs and think, “Holy cow. That’s me!”? Thanks to Alex, I realized that I have yet another thing wrong with me.

Thanks a lot Alex! Just kidding But really, if you chew or breathe annoyingly, I will stare you down. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Find something online and know you HAVE to get it? This is what happened the other day when I saw this phone case. I love me some patriotism.

Been in a food rut? Of course you have, I’m talking to health food bloggers. Well lately I have been loving some protein-pumpkin-banana-walnut-chocolate-chip pancakes for breakfast. Long name? Yes. Delicious? Yes. Thanks to Powercakes for inspiring these addicting little guys.

In a magic bullet, blend together:
-6 egg whites
-1/4c canned pumpkin
-1/4c unsweetened almond milk
-dash of vanilla
-a few drops stevia
-2 Tbsp coconut flour
-1 Tbsp ground flax seeds
-dash of baking powder
-cinnamon

Once blended, mix in:
-1 sliced banana
-walnuts
-chocolate chips

Cook. Enjoy. Become addicted.

Can you relate to any of these?
Make your own: Do you ever….

because we all love a good survey

Run/workout in the heat and humidity or freezing temps and snow? 

Heat for sure! I’m a Southern California girl so me and cold weather don’t really mix. When it’s cold, I would much rather lay on the couch wrapped up in my blanket. Facing cold weather does not sound appealing. But make it hot and I’m in! I love getting extra sweaty too. True story.

Have washboard abs or flat abs? 

Whatever happens, happens. I don’t really care either way. Whichever one allows me to eat unlimited frozen yogurt would be ideal

Dr. Oz or The Doctors? 

I CANNOT stand Dr. Oz! There’s just something about him. Probably the fact that he is always talking about fad diets. Blah. Makes me sick. Then again The Doctors are pretty annoying too. But I’d probably prefer them to Dr. Whats-His-Face.

Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper?

Jillian Michaels. No questions.

Frozen Yogurt or Ice Cream?

Frozen yogurt! Even though I have recently (re)learned that ice cream is quite delicious.

To train: Upper body or Lower body?

Oh snap. Both? I love leg days at the gym, then again I love chest days. Gosh darn questions. 

Protein powder or food with protein?

Food with protein of course! Protein powder is good in a hurry or when I don’t have other sources of protein but REAL food is where it’s at. More specifically, eggs, chicken, and greek yogurt.

Lunges or squats?

Squats squats squats! Not a fan of lunges. At all.

Sweet or salty?

Uhh…both once again. One of my favorite foods is chocolate covered pretzels and that’s both sweet and salty sooooooo. Yeah

Workout attire: cute or comfy?

Who workouts and looks cute? Oh yeah, those annoying people. That’s who. I’m all about comfort. That means no make up, hair up, running short, a cotton shirt, and shoes.

Body Pump or Heavy lifting?

Heavy lifting. I tried Body Pump once and liked it, but I’m still all about the heavy lifting.

Yoga or Pilates?

Neither. I have the attention span of a goldfish. Ooh look. Puppy!

Nike or Adidas?

Nike! Let me explain this one. I used to LOVE Adidas. Not just love. But, LOVE. Everything I wore had to be Adidas. I would shudder at the thought of wearing Nikes. (I was a weird kid.) I even named my cat after Adidas. But we call her Adi. And my email address, which I made in 7th grade, is adidasqueen1000. Well thankfully I grew up and moved onto Nike and I haven’t looked back since. You can’t go wrong with the Free Runs and Tempo Shorts.

Running on the treadmill or outdoors?

Outdoors fo sho. Then again, I’d take either at this point if it gave me motivation to run.

gosh darn farrah and her crying… 

Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s?

As much as I loveeee Whole Foods, I gotta go with Trader Joes on this one. The prices are great and I love the products.

Summer or Winter Olympics?

Summer! Holla! Sorry winter. I don’t even know when you’re on TV.

Exercises classes or Exercise videos?

I’m pretty sure I’m the only one to say this, but videos. For some reason, classes make me so mad. I get annoyed easily so the other people in the class tend to annoy me. But when I’m watching a video, it’s just me, myself, and I. Then again, that can get pretty annoying at times too

Steamed veggies or roasted veggies?

Roasted. Hands down. They make veggies taste like candy. Candayyyyyy!

Hot or cold weather?
Outside or treadmill?
Whole Foods or Trader Joes?
Steamed or roasted veggies?
And lastly, is anybody else annoyed by Farrah’s crying face??