for the first time in a long time….

I’m happy. 

When I wake up in the morning, I am excited about what the day brings. Who I’ll see, what I’ll do, and what will happen. It’s a combination of things. First off, school. I’ve only been here a couple of days and I love it. Everyone is so darn nice and I am beyond stoked to get started with my major. I like my roommate and the other girls in my dorm. So all that is going well.

Another reason I’m happy is because of the boy I’ve talked about. Even though he is still in California and I’m now in Texas, I’ve never felt so cared for as I have since being with him. I feel special and I’m happy. But the hard part about all this is my dad. He still doesn’t approve. As a matter of fact, he threatened to send me home if I continued to talk to the boy. No school. So we made an agreement but he still doesn’t trust me. But the thing he doesn’t see is that I’m HAPPY with school and the boy. Take away one part of it, and I’m not happy anymore.

I see where my dad is coming from. He is my father and I am his baby girl. But at the same time, if I’m happy with where my life is, he should accept that. Also, in order to grow up, I need to make mistakes. Maybe this relationship is a mistake. Who knows. But I need to learn from situations like this.

I have become such a strong person through the years and I know I can handle myself so much better when stressful situations arise. Also, in a way, the boy has helped me with the eating disorder. Being a Texas boy, he is used to eating meat and potatoes. In turn, I have eaten burgers, french fries, and other foods I used to refuse to eat. I don’t go home regretting what I ate because I’m happy with where my life is. I’m happy with school and my relationship. What would make it even better is if my dad was there to be happy for me too.

Any advice? 

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18 thoughts on “for the first time in a long time….

  1. Mmm. It’s hard to give advice for this type of thing since I don’t know him personally but in the end, if he’s really the one who treats you well and can take care of you (not just able to make you happy even though that is important) your dad will approve. He probably thinks you’re still too young and might be more into dating then school. Don’t ever do anything that will mess up your future. For instance, don’t be so into dating you do poorly on your schoolwork. That would def. make your dad say “I told you so.” Plus it shows that you’re not ready and you can even mess up your future because of it. Just make sure to be able to prioritize your time wisely. Don’t focus on him and forget what’s really important. I know i repeated a lot of the same thing but hopefully you understand! 🙂 I’m happy for yah though.

  2. That’s really hard. I am glad to hear that you are happy right now, but I’m sorry your dad isn’t really supporting you with it. Maybe he thinks you’re too young or that it is a mistake, but if that’s the case you need to explain to him that your young years are the time for you to make mistakes. If you make mistakes when you’re old you’re wasting your life basically. You’re supposed to have stuff figured out by then! Everyone makes mistakes, it’s natural and it helps people grow. If no one ever made mistakes no one would ever learn. He probably just feels protective. Everyone is different. I ended up meeting the right guy on the first try. Some people have to go through a bunch of relationships and breakups before they find the right guy. Melissa said some really good things, too. Good luck!

  3. I am glad you’re happy,Haley,but terribly sorry about the lacking support of your dad.
    I think he wants the best for you,but in my eyes,parents shouldn’t try to protect their children from each and everyothing in this world because this way,they can’t make their own experiences – which is absolutely necessary.

  4. Because i don’t know either your dad or the boy, it truly is to hard to give advice. The best thing I can tell you is to sit down with your dad if you haven’t already. Explain to him how the boy makes you feel, what he does for you. Just be honest. My prayers are with you that your daddy will accept the boy, and understand where you are coming from.

  5. I read the first line in my reader and thought, “I have to keep reading.” That is the best feeling. I’m glad you’re not letting your dad pull you down and control your emotions, because you’re so right. You might make a big mistake but you’ve got to make it. Few of us learn by watching others do everything wrong. At some point, we’ve got to throw ourselves to the wind and scrape our knees. Not that I hope you get hurt. Just that, even if you do, it was so so so worth it.

  6. Hi Haley!
    It’s been a while……… this is a tough question to ask your followers. Being a father that has put huge effort in my own son’s recovery, I can certainly feel your father’s concern for your welfare while away in Texas. I applaud you for putting a positive spin on your situation, you’re definitely taking the high road here which is the healty way to approach these bumps in the road. You’ve stated before “I love my family more than anything. My mom is my best friend in this entire world”……..I think your answer lies in those words. Talk to your mom (she’s been in your shoes), let her talk things over with your dad and then request a family conference call between the three of you. I’m sure it will all work out down the road.

    And go slooooow with your new young man! 🙂

    Bob

  7. This all makes me smile. You deserve to be this happy and I love hearing you wake up every morning happy. That is a sign of one kick butt life you are living. I think telling your dad exactly what you wrote, that you understand you are his baby but you are truly happy and feel cared for. That is all he wants for you!

  8. Good for you! You deserve to be happy! And as for your dad it might just take some getting used to for him, its a bunch of changes at once, a boyfriend, a new school away from him, you’re on your own and semi-independent. He might not be able to handle his little girl growing up. Hell my dad still can’t handle it sometimes and I’m going into my 3rd year of college.

  9. First of all, I’m SO glad to hear that you’re happy. That’s absolutely wonderful, and I’m thrilled to see how far you’ve come. I obviously don’t know all the details of your relationship with the boy or your relationship with your dad, but I imagine there must be some reason why he feels like he does. Maybe he’s concerned that your happiness is too dependent upon the boy, and he’s afraid that if something happens with him, you’ll lose your happiness. Maybe he just has a gut feeling that there’s something not right about this guy. Or, maybe it’s just like you said: he’s scared that his little girl is growing up. I CLEARLY have never been a father (haha), but I imagine that’s got to be a hard pill to swallow, seeing someone who was once fully dependent on him start to develop her own independence and knowing at the same time that while you get older, that means he’s getting older as well. Threatening your education seems a bit extreme, but maybe it’s hard for him to see you go all the way off to Texas, too. From the things you’ve shared on this blog, it seems to me like both your move to Texas and your relationship with your boy are doing excellent things for you, and I imagine your dad can’t ignore that forever. I really hope he comes around!

  10. I’m super glad you’re happy at school and have met cool room and dorm mates so far. And really your last blog or two has been really happy toned and I like that. As far as “the boy” goes… maybe in a few months your dad will come around? Usually dads are just kinda like that, it doesn’t matter who the boy is really. I would give it a little time, especially since your dad is already going through a lot with you moving to Texas as well as having “the boy”. It’s tough for parents to let go sometimes.

  11. I’d just tell your dad how happy the boy makes you and that you really want his support with this. If he just doesn’t see it how you see it, then that’s tough, I’m not sure what to say. I hope it all works out and I’m glad that you’re feeling happy, it’s a great feeling 😉

  12. Honestly, I think your dad is just protecting you from getting hurt. He doesn’t want you to date the boy not because he won’t make you happy – your dad’s afraid the boy will make you so happy that you’ll fall in love and then get your heart broken. I’m not saying that that’ll happen, but I’m sure that that’s what your dad is afraid of. He doesn’t want you to be unhappy again, and he’s probably scared of what could happen. I’d just talk to him, but don’t get mad at him. He’s your father, it’s his job to protect you, I guess. I’m glad you’re so happy, Haley! Good luck with your father.

  13. Pingback: New Definition of Happiness « Tales of a Freckled Lifter

  14. First of all, I’m SO glad to hear that you’re so happy. College is such an amazing experience and I know you’re going to love every minute of it.
    As for the situation with your Dad, that’s really tough. Since I don’t know him or your boyfriend it’s really tough to make a judgement. I’m sure that you’re Dad is only doing this in an attempt to keep you his “baby”. Parents have a hard time watching their kids grow up and become more independent because they can’t protect you anymore. They lose control and that’s scary for them. I do think he should be more open-minded though and hopefully he’ll come around. Just give him time and do whatever it takes to show him how happy you are. ❤

  15. YAY! It’s an amazing feeling to be happy <3. I don't take such a feeling for granted anymore, that's for sure.

  16. Aw first of all I’m so so pleased that you’ve found a fantastic guy and that you are so happy! That is exactly how Tom makes me feel, it’s one of the best feelings in the world and you definitely deserve it 🙂 I’m also really pleased that you are enjoying college so far, I can’t wait to hear more about it!

    As for the situation with your dad, it’s a really tough scenario to be in and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it. I don’t really know what to suggest because although at times my parents have been critical about the level of attachment I have to Tom, on the whole they are supportive. I think first and foremost you can show your dad how happy this boy makes you feel. I am sure your dad is just scared, both that he’ll lose his little girl and that you’ll get hurt. Try to make him realise that a) he’s not losing you, and b) that although you might get hurt, you might equally have a wonderful experience and you’re bound to learn lots from it either way. Give him time, he wants what is best for you so I am sure he will come around eventually.

    I hope it all works out lovely!

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