did you know it’s wiaw?

Happy WIAW everyone! How is everybody doing this lovely day? I’m doing great (just tired) because I turned in my final paper for english and already presented it. So now I am done with that class. Weee! We had to present our final paper, and I don’t know about you guys, but I just like to get it over with. So I was the second person to present. Now I have one less class to stress over 🙂 

Preworkout Snack

I woke up this morning with my stomach growling. So it’s gonna be one of those days…. On my way to the gym, I snacked on a chocolate cherry larabar and banana.


I kind of like this waking up at 5:30 in the morning thing to workout. Yeah, it sucks getting my butt out of bed, but once I get my blood flowing, I feel great.

20 min elliptical warm up

weights: legs/calves

20 min interval cool down on treadmill

Post Workout Snack

I quickly ran back to my room to freshen up before my english presentation. While there, I grabbed some food.

chocolate coconut water + original coconut water and a chocolate peanut butter protein luna bar


4 egg whites, hummus, sweet potato, grapefruit

I was still hungry after this so I ate a banana with peanut butter.


When I got back from class, I wasn’t that hungry so I just snacked on this salad.

lettuce, shredded carrots, mushrooms, kidney beans, annie's lite gingerfly dressing + cauliflower + brown rice

After checking emails and all that fun stuff, I took a 30 minute power nap….not enough, my friends, not enough.


Dinner was basically exactly the same as lunch…

lettuce, shredded carrots, bell peppers, kidney beans, annie's lite gingerfly dressing + cauliflower + brown rice pilaf

vanilla frozen yogurt with chocolate chips

Well that was a pathetic WIAW, wasn’t it? I apologize. I don’t know why I am so tired. I’m getting 7-8 hours of sleep. I think it’s a case of I-don’t-want-to-be-back-at-school-and-do-any-homework-I-just-want-it-to-be-Christmas syndrome.

But hey, guess what! I’m running another half marathon this Sunday! Woop woop. So I gotta be revived for that 🙂


Day 14 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Movement. Run baby run!

Question: Any good eats?

How did you guys get moving today?

if the pants fit

A while back, I wrote a post titled Screw the Scale. I talked about how the scale doesn’t define who you are. It doesn’t matter what a stupid number says. After living based off of what the scale said, I am proud to say that I could care less about that number. With zero desire to weigh myself, I am able to live my life without a number flashing in my mind. 

So how was I finally able to get to that point? Slowly but surely, I weened myself off of the scale. It went from weighing myself three times a day, to once a day, to once a week, to never. My therapist was able to help me realize that the scale doesn’t matter. At all. As long as you are happy and healthy, then that’s all that matters. 

The way I keep my weight consistent as possible is by my pants. If they fit, then why should I obsess about the number on the scale? I haven’t known my weight for about six months and I haven’t been happier. If I ever go to the doctor’s and have to get weighed, I asked to get weighed “blind.” That way, you step on the scale backwards. No biggie. And if I have to fill out paperwork with my weight, I put whats on my license. 

So what if I wake up one day and my pants are tighter? Well, it happens. Your body is constantly changing. Maybe I had a lot of salt the night before. Maybe I’m bloated. Maybe they are a freshly washed pair of jeans. Things just happen. And it’s okay. 

At this point, I don’t think I ever want to know my weight. Now now, not ever. That could change once I get older and have a baby and stuff but for now, I’m okay with going off of how my body and clothes feel.

Like I always say, this stuff is way easier said than done. That habit of weighing yourself can become so addictive. It can define whether or not you are going to have a good day or bad day. I know, I’ve been there. But once you realize how freeing it is to not define your life by a number, you will realize just how much better life can be. 

Day 13 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Written words.

my week home

Well I’m back at school. That means back to homework, waking up early, and dining hall food. It was amazing being home. I wish I was still there but just three more weeks and I will be home for Christmas break! I’ll give you guys a run down of how my week was. Let’s just say, it was filled with lots of good food, love, and laughter.


I already talked about some of my Wednesday in this post. But it was filled baking these cookies

And good food…After going to lunch with my friend, I was superrr tired. So tired, that I took a four hour nap. Four hours. Where did that come from??

My mom was going to make soup for dinner but she didn’t have some of the ingredients. So I made myself a tempeh, hummus, and avocado sandwich with grapes on the side.

Afterwards, I was going to see Breaking Dawn with my friend, but there was a change of plans. So instead, I watched House with my parents and sister. This may sound weird, but one of my favorite things to do is watch TV with my family.

Since I wasn’t tired my sister and I stayed up and watched a rerun of the CMAs. I had the urge to make something so that’s exactly what I did.

I made the Espresso Pumpkin Spiced Walnuts from Elle’s New England Kitchen. The only difference I did to the recipe was using agave instead of the sugar and water. They turned out really good! They didn’t get hardened like they should have but that’s because I used agave. Definitely a go back. I had these on top of some oatmeal and I died a little inside. Enough said.

Thursday (Thanksgiving)

I woke up early to get to the Turkey Trot. I decided to run to the start line (partly to get some more mileage, partly to skip out on the parking). Before leaving, I had a mint chocolate Clif bar.

To the start line:

3.21 miles – 24:48 min – 7:43 min/mile average pace

I arrived at the race about 5 minutes before the 10k started. So I got in the huge line and waited. Once it was time to go, I was ready to get moving again. I have run the course before so I knew what to expect and how it looked.

6.09 miles –  48:32 min – 7:58 min/mile average pace

Once I finished this race, I wasn’t sure if I was going to run the 5k or not. Then I saw my high school’s basketball team so I stuck around to talk to them. They were running/walking the 5k so I figured I would do it too. There were tons of people but it was fun as usual. People on the side cheering us on. Gotta love it.

3.14 miles – 25:13 min – 8:02 min/mile average pace

After this, I didn’t hang around at any of the booths. I just wanted to get home! So I made the run back…slowly but surely.

3.09 miles – 28:00 min – 9:04 min/mile average pace

Total : 15.53 miles

Overall, they were great races. Luckily, the weather was amazing. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right. Here are some pictures from the course (I took these pictures on my run Saturday…not on the actual race day).

When I got home, I stretched while watching some House (I love that show). Then I showered to get the wonderful smell off of me. But I returned again for some more House afterwards. Then around 2, it was time to help my momma get ready for people to come over. Once 3 o’clock rolled around, it was party time! It was so much fun seeing all of my family. I haven’t seen them since the summer so it was fun catching up. My brother, brother’s girlfriend, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma, and grandpa, and friends all were there. So it was a packed house.

At around 4:30, it was time to get my grub on! I didn’t take any pictures because I didn’t want any questions to be asked. There was lots of delicious food, and my mom was amazing (as usual) and made me some healthier things.

We first started out with a zucchini soup which was so good. The recipe was from Food and Wine. Healthy and delicious…just the way I like it 🙂 Then it was time for the main event:



-2 types of stuffing: cornbread and wild rice

-Candied sweet potatoes

-Brussels sprouts with bacon


-Mashed Potatoes


My plate had the following:

-Quinoa stuffed kabocha squash

-Steamed brussels sprouts

-Sautéed green beans

-Roasted sweet potatoes

-Cauliflower/Leek puree <–This is seriously the most delicious and easiest recipe ever. When my dad and sister were doing the Atkins diet (DON’T EVER DO IT! PLEASE!) there was a recipe for this. The original called for cream. Well my mom healthified it and didn’t add any cream. It turned out amazing. All she did was steam leeks and cauliflower, add some salt and pepper, and then puree it. Easy peasy.

It all tasted so good. I’ve missed home cooked meals. Then it was time for dessert. There was pecan pie, pumpkin pie, See’s candy, and chocolate cupcakes (a la my brother’s girlfriend). I had a piece of dark chocolate almond from the See’s candy box but the best part was…

Pumpkin pie with a meringue crust. I die. My grandma makes it every year because she knows I love it so much. I wish I had the recipe to share, but it is hidden somewhere deep in my mom’s recipe book. I ate about half of this pie (you think I’m kidding?).

My mom also had a cheese plate out for dessert. I don’t like cheese but these crackers….I died….again.

I then asked my sister to take my blood pressure (because she in school for nursing). So of course, my brother had to get in on it. 

He is being fed mashed potatoes while getting his blood pressure taken to see how it changes….gotta love the family.

So overall, Thanksgiving was amazing. I love spending time with my family. There is nothing else I would rather be doing. Once some of the people left, my sister and I decided to do some bonding over the iPad…


My sister was kind enough to go with me to some Black Friday shopping. I told her to be ready to leave at 3:30am and she was okay with that. Score.

The first store we hit up was Target. I wanted some moccasins and then my brother wanted a pink hand mixer for his girlfriend.

moccasins – $12 (originally $20)

Next up, Old Navy.

sweater – $15 (originally $35)

Afterwards, we went to Dicks Sporting Goods. This was the place I was most stoked for because I was going to get new running shoes. Nike Free Runs never go on sale, so the fact that they were $15 dollars cheaper was a big deal (to me, at least).

the shoelaces look red but they are actually pink

Nike Free Runs – $80 (originally $95)

My sister wanted to stop at the mall to go to another Old Navy and see if they had the socks she wanted. Yes…socks. While there, I got a pair of my most favoritest jeans of all time.

Black jeans – $20 (originally $35)

The Forever 21 at our mall moved into a new space and ohmygosh it’s huge! Two stories of pure awesomeness. I got some stuff…even though they weren’t on sale.

Earrings – $2.80

Nail Polish – $2.80

We ended up getting home around 6:30am so I headed straight for bed. After about 4 hours of sleep, I got up, ate some leftovers, and proceeded to sit on the couch for most of the day. I watched American Horror Story. Do you guys watch that show? My brother was telling me about it so I decided to give it a chance. Ohmygosh this show is so twisted and addicting! Totally different and out there but I thought it was really good.

I finally decided to get my butt of the couch and get my ears pierced! It only took 18 years but I finally got them done 🙂 

My parents came home around 5pm with my new car! Weeeoooo! Right now, I have a 2006 Volkswagen Passat and even though I love it, it just isn’t reliable. If it weren’t for the warranty, we would have had to pay so much in repairs. So now this is my new baby:

2007 acura rdx

(This isn’t the exact one…I got this picture from online.)

I took it for a test drive and I am in love.

After the test drive, I made some dinner. I have been craving spaghetti squash so you better believe I had that for dinner!

spaghetti squash, marinara sauce, tempeh, green beans, brussels sprouts, onion, avocado


My best friend and I made plans to go to breakfast at one of our favorite spots: Cafe Zinc. But when we got there, the line was super long and my friend had to get to work. So instead we decided to go to the Laguna Beach Farmers Market which was going on down the street.

It was a good choice because I found these bad boys:

pumpkin spiced almonds

Then I also got some hummus…at least I thought it was hummus. I got home and was enjoying it with some carrots when I saw the ingredient list: garlic, sundried tomatoes, basil, lemon juice, olive oil, spices. No garbanzo beans! Oh well. It’s still tasty.

When I got home, I decided to cook some goodies.

pumpkin protein bars

I used Jamie Eason’s recipe like last time. I packaged them up to bring back to school with me. The only things I did different to this recipe was: NuNunaturals Baking Blend instead of brown sugar blend, extra pumpkin instead of applesauce, and oat bran instead of oat flour.


Homemade applesauce is super easy to make. Peel and dice about 7 apples (I used red delicious). Put into a pan with about 1/2 c water. Make the heat as low as possible and cook them low and slow. When the apples are softened, add cinnamon and lemon juice. The lemon juice helps keep it fresh. Then mash the apples to desired consistency.

Then we got a call from my dad. The new car…my new baby…got into an accident. My dad is okay (thank goodness) but the car wasn’t so lucky. It was a hit and run involving about 4 cars. It had to be totaled to a shop but it can be saved!

I decided it was finally time to get my butt moving so I made my way to the harbor to run and do some stairs. I ran the same route as the Turkey Trot, just cut a little. After running, I ran up and down some stairs….these are death. After about 10 minutes, your legs will shake for the rest of the day.

view from the bottom of the stairs...

view from the top of the stairs...

When I got home, my mom and I talked about my class schedule for next semester. It’s so stressful! Then my aunt came over for some Thanksgiving leftovers. This is kind of what my plate looked like on Thursday…

quinoa and kabocha, steamed brussels sprouts, roasted sweet potato, steamed green beans, cauliflower/leek puree

It was fun seeing my aunt. We always have fun when she’s around. She’s the crazy aunt that everybody has 😉


I got up at the crack of dawn this morning: 3:45am! What the heck?? We had to drop my sister off at the LA airport and then drop me off at the Long Beach airport. My flight left at 6:50am and I got there around 6am.

I landed in Oakland where it was freezing cold. Gotta get used to that again. On my way back to school, I stopped at Trader Joes because I was all out of peanut butter.

Do you see what I see? Cocoa almond spread! Thank you Trader Joes for making my day.

Then I decided to stop at another store to get myself a kombucha…hey, I deserve something for waking up so early! When I got to the checkout, the cashier asked, “Are you 21?” “No…” I said. “Oh. You have to be 21 to buy this.” What the flip?? Since when?? I know there is a little alcohol in kombucha but it’s like .01%. So let’s just say I left the store a little pissed.

And now I’m back in the dorm…and it’s super quiet. The campus is basically empty. It’s probably a good time to do homework. Blahhh.


Wow. I just noticed that this is a super long post. I’m sure you guys are thinking, “Why the heck do I want to hear about this girl’s week?” Well I already typed this post so I’m going to publish it gosh darn it!

How was your guy’s week? 

facing fear foods: peanut butter

Happy Black Friday everyone! I hope all of you that went shopping are rested up and are now eating some good leftovers. My Thanksgiving was good, and yes, I woke up at the crack of dawn to go shopping. But I’m sure most all blogs are talking about Thanksgiving so I will save that for another day.

With an ED, there are many fear foods that stop people from eating certain foods. I had many and not gonna lie, I still have a few. I am going to start a new series of posts that pinpoints a fear food. I will then try to help you not be so afraid of those foods. That really, they can be good for you. So if you have any fear foods that you would like help overcoming, feel free to leave a comment and I’ll focus on it for a week. As for my fear foods, I still have a few: butter, cream, cheese, white flour, white rice, white potatoes. That list has dwindled down immensely.

For this week’s fear food, I am going to focus on peanut butter.

My dad has always been a peanut butter lover. He would gladly dip a spoon into the jar and snack away. So it’s no surprise that I feel the same way about peanut butter. In about 8th grade, I used to eat PB&J sandwiches like it was my job. There was even one weekend where I tried to eat as many as I could. I think I got to 8. Then a couple of months later, I learned about hydrogenated oils. That’s when my mom switched over to natural peanut butter.

The Fear

In 9th and 10th grade, I still ate PB&J sandwiches every once in awhile. Then I started to read nutrition labels, health magazine, and weight loss sites. All of those said one thing: eat less fat. Well, peanut butter has a lot of fat, so I better not eat that anymore. Peanut butter was non-existent in my diet. The only time I ate it was if I didn’t have any sort of fat for breakfast, snack, or lunch. So if I didn’t eat any fats, I wouldn’t get fat…right?

The Truth about Fats

Fats are vital to live. They help protect your brain, nerves, and bones. There are many types out there. Some types of fat (mono-unsaturated, omega-3s, and omega-6s) actually help prevent heart disease. These can be found in nuts, flax, fish, chia seeds.

Peanut Butter Nutrition

So is peanut butter healthy? Heck yes it is. Peanuts contain a good source of protein, meaning it is perfect for vegans and vegetarians. They also contain nutrients such as iron, calcium, vitamin E, and fiber. They also contain an enzyme (coenzyme 10) which protects the heart when there is a lack of oxygen (i.e. high altitudes or working out).


There are so many healthy living bloggers that promote eating healthy fats. And guess what? They aren’t overweight. They are healthy and strong. When I wasn’t eating any fats, my energy level was nonexistent. Since adding fats, I have felt so much more energized. That energy allows me to go to school everyday, hang out with friends, and run marathons.

So now that peanut butter is okay to eat, what do I do with it?

There are a world of possibilities! Banana and peanut butter is my go-to choice. I’m pretty sure I ate 6 in one day…

You can also put it on some rice cakes. I know, I know. “Aren’t rice cakes diet foods?” Yeah, they are if you eat them straight out of the bag. But not when you slather them with peanut butter and jelly. 

And then there is the wonderful peanut butter and jelly sandwich (with bananas if you so desire). 

Or you can put it on top of some oatmeal.

empty peanut butter jar = not good news


Day 12 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Hands. They allows me to eat lots and lots of peanut butter.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I will eating peanut butter (with my hands) and cuddling with my cat.

Do you like peanut butter?

What fear foods do you have?

wiaw {home edition}

Home sweet home! If I haven’t said it enough, I am home 🙂 But before I get to how it is being home, I got received a package from Tara! We did a food swap so I was excited to see what products an (amazing) cross country athlete likes to eat. She wrote this super sweet note: 

And yesss, Tara, when you are in California, let me know!

-Annie’s Bunny Graham and Cheddar Bunnies

-Late July Mini Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers

-Barabara’s Oatmeal Snackimals

-Zico’s Chocolate Coconut Water <–Ohmygosh I love this stuff! And I just finished my last bottle that morning.

-Love Grown Raisin Almond Crunch Granola <–I was so excited when I saw this. So excited actually that I ripped it open right away. I’ve tried Love Grown before but they don’t sell it anywhere near me so this made my day week.

-Chocolate Chip Cherry Torte Larabar

-Nugo Dark Chocolate Pretzel with Sea Salt <–Pretzel + Chocolate = heck yes

-Honey Stinger Waffles – Honey and Vanilla

-Vosges Chocolate – Habana and Gingerbread Toffee

-Trader Joes Omega 3 Trex Mix

-Cascadian Farm Oatmeal Raisin Granola Bar

Tara, you’re amazing. Thank you so much for all these amazing new products!


I landed in Orange County at 5:30pm and was welcomed by my Mom. I missed her 🙂 She knew I would be hungry so she asked where I wanted to go to eat. After much contemplation, I decided on Native Foods. I got the Garden Pizza and it was delicioussss. I ate in the car because I was uber hungry.

Then I made it home and it was amazing. I was greeted by my dog and then my dad, who gave me a huge hug. Just what I needed. And then I saw my cat! Ahhhhh!

she's a bad kitty on the counter

Then I saw this on the counter: Pumpkin hand soap. My mom has some good taste.

My sister recommended we go to Yogurtland for some frozen yogurt and I was all for it. They had chocolate hazelnut flavor! I died.

While I was enjoying my frozen yogurt, I looked up to see my best friend standing there. My best friend! Apparently my sister and her planned it out. So it was a happy reunion 🙂

After enjoying our frozen yogurt, my friend showed me her new car and then we decided to head over to her house to watch the Taylor Swift Speak Now DVD. We’re both huge T-Swift fans 🙂

Okay. Now to the WIAW part:


Breakfast was really random and spread out. When I woke up, my mom needed to go to Trader Joes and the market for some last minute Thanksgiving goods so my sister and I tagged along. I ate a banana from Trader Joes and then a Gala apple from the market.

When I got home, I roasted some brussels sprouts. While those were roasting, I ate:

carrots dipped in mashed avocado, lime juice, salt, pepper + strawberries

And then the brussels sprouts were ready.

it's like candy.

I was ready to get my bake on from the moment I stepped into the kitchen, so I made A Healthy Passion’s Pumpkin Ginger Cookies

The only thing I did differently was that I used canola oil instead of Earth Balance. They were, how do I say this? Fantastic! As my sister said, “I could eat this entire bowl of dough right now.” So we ate a lot of dough before finally baking them. They are really cake-like and I was really happy with how they turned out. The recipe’s a keeper!


My best friend (the T-Swift fan) and I went to lunch at our favorite spot, The Stand. It’s a hippie-vegan-sort of place in Laguna Beach and I know I can always get some amazing food when I’m there.

tortilla soup

steamed vegetable bowl - brown rice, broccoli, red bell peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, shredded carrots, tamari sauce, and guacamole

I have no idea how, but this place has THE BEST brown rice and guacamole ever.

beautiful drive down PCH

I then requested we stop by a beach real quick so I could snap a picture.

Yeah. I’m glad to be home.


I haven’t had dinner yet but my mom said it’s going to be tomato soup 🙂 I’ll probably have it with a hummus sandwich or something. Perfection.

Later tonight, my best friend and I are going to see Breaking Dawn. Weeee! So excited to see it. About half of the world (exaggeration?) has already seen so I’m excited to jump on the bandwagon. I’ll probably also get some frozen yogurt tonight. Ohh yeah.


Day 11 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Something old: my dog, Lucky. He’s not even that old, really. He’s about 6 but he had a hard past. Story time. In Tennessee, a lady was driving down the road when she saw a puppy laying in the snow. She brought him to the vet (where my godmother works) and they said he was almost frozen. So they put him on a warming table for a couple of days. He was finally able to pull through but ever since then, he has been a little slower than most dogs. Take him on a walk for 5 minutes, and he’s pooped for the rest of the day. But we love him. And wouldn’t trade him for any other dog.


Anybody planning on running a Turkey Trot tomorrow??

you know you’re from orange county when…

I did a post awhile ago titled You Know You’re In College When and I had a lot of fun with it. So I figured I would do it again. This time though, it’s all about Orange County. Or “the OC” if you feel more comfortable with that. But just don’t say that around somebody you meet from Orange County. They will walk away. Orange County…it’s my home. As much as I dislike the people, I’ve lived there for 18 years so I can’t help but emotionally love it. After college though, I have zero desire to go back. Don’t get me wrong. I had an amazing childhood and I wouldn’t change a thing. But Orange County isn’t for me.

So, in honor of me flying home, here are some ways you know you are from Orange County…

1. You know you’re from Orange County when you consider cold to be anything below 65 degrees. The weather forecast is for the low 60’s?? Better pull out my parka (which is just a sweatshirt with a hood). Oh, and a slight drizzle? Gotta wear my rain boots which have been collecting dust in the closet. I was one of those people who would look out the window, see no sunshine, and put on layers. But now that I am actually somewhere (a little bit) colder, I have learned what weather actually is.

2. You know you’re from Orange County when the cars in the student parking lot are nicer than the ones in the teacher parking lot. I hate this. Pull into the student parking lot and it was like a car show. And if you didn’t have a nice car? You better have a really big house with some really good parties.

3. You know you’re from Orange County when people ask you if you know the people from the show, Laguna Beach. My answer: No, thank goodness. I’m sure they were nice people and all but they just make Orange County have an even worse reputation. Laguna Beach is great. Great beaches and shops. But get down to the people, and they’re just like everyone else in that area: spoiled.

4. You know you’re from Orange County when guys at your school wear tight pants. Why, oh why must guy wear tight pants? I mean, unless you’re a Jonas Brothers, there is no reason for you to shop in the women’s section.

5. You know you’re from Orange County when you’re defined by the beach you go to. I’m not much of a beach goer. I know I should enjoy it more because I live only 5 minutes away. But at the same time, I could do without. When somebody asks you what beach you go to, they will give you a certain look on their face. It’s as if, they can’t speak to you anymore because your beaches aren’t the same.

6. You know you’re from Orange County when every single driver is defensive. Can you say, road rage to the max? People are so determined to get to the mall, beach, or botox appointment as fast as possible that they will swerve in and out of the lanes, while talking on their phones (which is illegal in Cailfornia) and having their tiny dressed up dog in their lap.

7. You know you’re from Orange County when you consider it to be “the bubble” and anything outside of that is scary. I lived in my comfortable little bubble for 18 years. Then I came to college and I am beyond happy that I moved away. There is even a website called OC Bubble. What the flip?

8. You know you’re from Orange County when 99% of the school wears Rainbows. Rainbows are sandals. No they’re not just sandals. They’re the best sandals ever created. The outlet is in Orange County so there are some good deals. Rain or shine, people will be wearing these sandals. I even think that they’re glued onto some people’s feet…

9. You know you’re from Orange County when you don’t even want to associate with the Real Housewives. No…just no.

Day 11 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Something Old. I’m the one on the left. Wasn’t I the cutest?? 😉


Day 10 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Emerald Lake, Canada. When my family and I went on a cruise to Alaska this past summer, we spent a day to go into Canada. Our destination: Emerald Lake.

Your turn: You know you’re from (insert hometown) when…

gotta love mondays

It’s Monday. What else is there to say? I’m super tired (I regret staying up to watch the AMA’s.) and I am having major writers block. So, I am just going to show you guys some random finds from Pinterest.

Then there’s this video I saw…

I cried. Then I cried again. So inspirational!

I’m really sorry for there being zero content to this post but I promise there will be something tomorrow. It’s just one those didn’t-get-much-sleep-and-just-want-to-go-home-to-snuggle-with-my-cat-plus-i-really-want-some-frozen-yogurt-with-unlimited-toppings-please-and-thank-you sort of Mondays.

What do you guys want to see on the blog? (i.e. body confidence, running, nutrition, anti-ED, college life, etc.) 

sunday shenanigans

1. Remember that mouse that was living in our dorm? Yeah. It’s gone. Vegans/animal lovers…don’t hate me. It was so cute. But it was eating my popcorn so that little guy had to go. Now I just hope he didn’t have any friends…or babies. 

2. I have been obsessed with protein cakes lately. I used to eat them a lot over the summer, but since coming to college, I never had eggs or baking powder. But now that I have those ingredients, I have been eating them likes it’s my job. My favorite way is to slice some bananas and top it with some peanut butter. And if I’m feeling really adventurous, I add a dark chocolate square to the middle. Mmmmm.

3. I finished week 1 one of Jamie Eason’s 12 week trainer. My whole body hurts. In a good way though. I can already feel myself getting stronger and I love it. 

4. I got a package in the mail from Lollihop on Friday. It’s like a health freak’s dream basically. In the box: Food Should Taste Good Blue Corn Chips, Somersault Sea Salt Snacks, Popcorners Kettle Chips, Bakery on Main Chocolate Peanut Butter Granola Bar, Larabar Cashew Cookie, Gnu Banana Walnut Fiber Bar, Kind Bar Fruit and Nut,  Linwoods Flaxseed Cocoa and Berries, Bella Viva Dried Cherries. Right away, I ripped open the bag of Popcorners kettle chips. Ohmygoodness. These were so good…as in I need to go to the store and get a bag (or 50). Next time my mom wants to send me a care package, I’m just gonna tell her to send me a Lollihop package. That’s the way to go.

5. I bought my roommate’s Christmas gift. It’s a Justin Bieber toothbrush. And it sings. What more could a college kid want?**

6. I register for classes in a week and I’m seriously dreading it. Since I’m a freshman, I am going to get some of the last picks. So basically I am going to take whatever class other people don’t want. They better not leave me with Spanish.

7. I went to TJ Maxx yesterday to make a return and I thought, “Hey, why not go look at the food section to see if they have Popcorners chips??” (See number 4). As I was walking to the back of the store, I was betting they wouldn’t have them. Then all of a sudden, it was as if light was shining on a shelf. There were the chips…one lonely bag of chips. Heck yes. I did a little happy dance then was on my way. And now they’re all gone. Booo.

8. Salsa + Eggs + Oatmeal = an oddly delicious combination. I’m not sure what compelled me to try this but I’m glad I did. Here’s what my breakfast was yesterday: 1 egg + 3 eggs whites (cooked in the microwave), oatmeal (cooked in the microwave with water), salsa, and nutritional yeast. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. (And yes. I have a Christmas tablecloth already. Don’t look at me that way.)

9. If you follow me on Pinterest, you know that I have basically planned my entire wedding out. I mean, it’s the 21st century. Why dream of your wedding in your head when you can do it on the computer? While I was at the gym today, I stared with amazement at my phone case and nail polish color. Why? Because they’re totally going to be the colors of my wedding.

I’m obsessed. (The case is from Uncommon and the nail polish is Sally Hansen Mint Sorbet.) (And yes. I have sparkles on only one nail.)

10. I fly home on Tuesday. And that means I get to see this adorable face very, very soon.


**Disclaimer: I am not a fan of Justin Bieber.


Day 9 of the 30 day photo challenge…

Inspiring Person: my mom. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.


Question: What Sunday shenanigans are you up to?

let’s be honest

Let’s rewind to about a year and a half ago. At that time, I was at the worst of my ED and  miserable. I was basically living off of vegetables, egg whites, and fiber one cereal. Tasty, right? So that went on for awhile and then I was finally able to get help. I was at the beginning of my recovery around Thanksgiving time. So you can imagine the anxiety that arose when Thanksgiving meal rolled around. I was basically only willing to eat the turkey so my mom made me separate food that she knew I would eat. So I basically had my own Thanksgiving meal. The meal included lots of veggies, roasted sweet potatoes (with no oil), stuffing (with whole wheat bread and barely any oil), and turkey. I mean, this is a great meal. It’s nutritious and tasted good, but I wasn’t able to enjoy the typical food like everyone else. I was so freaked out of fats that the thought of mashed potatoes made my anxiety skyrocket. 

Fast forward a couple of months and I am finally eating peanut butter. Not often, but peanut butter nonetheless. Fast forward to the summer and I was eating peanut butter everyday, multiple times a day. And that’s still how it is today. I always say, “When all else fails, eat peanut butter.” So the fat thing has gotten better. It’s just certain fats that I am still scared of: butter, cheese, cream, etc. 

So that brings me to today. I have no idea how Thanksgiving dinner will go. My hope is that I will be able to eat what everyone else is eating. But at the same time, I have to be rational and realize that when it’s come right down to it, I probably won’t be able to. Of course, I am going to push myself, but I don’t even know if I like the taste of those foods anymore.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have come so far this past year. But it’s kind of like I am at a safe spot with my eating. I have a bubble of foods that I am okay eating. But once I go outside that bubble, I freak out a little inside. So there’s no denying that I have come a long way. Yet, there is also no denying that I have an ED some days. 

I feel so comfortable with where I am at that I don’t want to go out of my comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy. Really, really happy. Part of me doesn’t even like those foods because of the taste. But at the same time, I would like to eat a piece of pizza with friends if the situation came up.

I am going to push myself on Thanksgiving. I am going to try and have a bite of mashed potatoes, stuffing, pie, etc. Hopefully I will come back with some good news, but who knows. 

My anxiety has risen a little bit this week since thinking about this but I think I am going to try and bring it up to my mom. That way, she would be able to help me.

But I just want to say it again: I am happy. I have not had any depressed or suicidal thoughts since my last episode, which was about two months ago. So don’t take this post as being depressed. It’s just typical ED/anxiety thoughts that come up to people while they’re in recovery.

And on that bright note…here is day 8 of the 30 day photo challenge:

Favorite color(s). This is the bedding in my dorm room and I fell in love with it right when I laid eyes on it at Target 🙂