I’ll be back…

I’m really glad a lot of you could relate to my earlier post. It’s reassuring to know that others feel the same as me. So, as always, you guys are amazing.

Now onto today’s post. Okay. How do I say this? I need to take a blogging break. Life hasn’t been great. I feel as if the depression and eating disorder are taking over again….but this time, the depression is stronger. And it’s scaring me. I have had my down times before, but now it feels different. I can’t stop crying sometimes. I go to bed shaking sometimes because I just can’t stand, well, life anymore. I am still seeing a therapist so I have somebody to talk to. But I just need a little break from blogging to reconsider the things in my life.

I’m not sure when I will be back. But for now, I need some ‘me’ time.

I hope you guys have an amazing day, week, month, year. Whenever it is that I talk to you next. I hope it’s not long though because I really do love blogging.

Thanks everyone for your support.

I’m a home body….and I’m okay with that

Yesterday at my therapy appointment, we talked more about getting myself out there to meet more people and make more friends. I was all for it. Then I started to get thinking…what if I really do like to be by myself? Don’t get me wrong. Friends are great and very important. I just think that some people rely on friends more than others.

I have always been a home body. Even before my eating disorder, I liked to stay home. My parents are awesome so I had no problem at all hanging out with them. Then there would be that weekend every once in awhile where I would hang out with a friend. But when it came down to it, I would have rather been at home.

Flash forward to the peak of my eating disorder. I literally never left the house unless it was to go to school, basketball, or out for a run. And that’s how I liked it (Not the eating disorder part. The staying home part).

Now I’m in college. I know these are where so many memories are made for people. Where they go out to parties, join a sorority, make friends that will last a lifetime, and stay up late at night. But I really don’t like any of that stuff. I mean, making a friend that would last a lifetime would be great. But the rest, nahh.

My therapist recommended hanging out with some people that I had lost touch with from the beginning of the year. I could do that. But do I want to? Not really. Is it partly because I’m shy? Yeah, probably. Or is it partly because I really just like being alone? I think it has a lot to do with that. I’m okay with being alone. Yeah, sometimes it can get extremely lonely and I have some depressive thoughts but I would much rather be alone than miserable with a group of people I don’t really want to be around.

That brings me to last night, I went to bed at around 8pm. It was a Friday night. The night most college students long for. But I really could care less if it was Friday night or Wednesday night. I was tired at 8 so I had no problem shutting my door and turning off the lights.

Then again, it would be nice to have a group of friends to fall back on. It’s all still up in the air. I like my independence and being alone. But at the same time, a friend would be nice. Not one that is constantly burping, talking about losing weight, cussing, blasting music through their headphones, or chewing with their mouth open (Yes. I am talking about my roommate.)

So I guess the gist of this post is that I like being alone. Even though my therapist wants me to work on getting out there, I really don’t want to…even though it might be good for me. I just don’t know.

Do you guys get what I mean? Can you relate in any way?
Are you a home body or do you like to go out?
Any advice for me? Like, how to get out there because it would probably be good for me? 

Popchips giveaway winner + a must watch video

It’s almost the weekend! Weee! Before I get to the totally awesome video, the winner of the Popchips giveaway is…

Jessica from BusyLivingHealthy! Congrats! Shoot me an email at adidasqueen1000@yahoo.com and you will have a month’s worth of Popchips heading your way 😀

Now you guys need to really check out this video. It was made by The Journey TV and it is very inspiring.

If size 6 is considered plus size, then I am plus size and proud of it. 

What are your thoughts on the video?

gotta love summer jobs (not)

Job searching sucks. It really does. There’s no other way to really describe it. In high school, I decided to get a job when the basketball season was over. I applied to a ton of places with no luck. Then I randomly walked into a restaurant. Next thing I know, I was talking to the manager and she told me I was the new hostess. Score!

I loved this job. I worked 3-4 nights a week between 4-5 hours. The people were nice, I got the tips from to-go orders, and it was an awesome schedule. I had been working there for about 4 months when I got the news: the restaurant was closing. Noooooo!

I was so bummed when I heard. It was the best job and I didn’t want to leave. Then the time came where they locked the doors up everyone went their own separate ways. I was sad that I didn’t have the job anymore but I really felt bad for all those waiters, cooks, bartenders, and busboys who depended on that paycheck to support their family.

After a couple of weeks without a job, I decided to get out there again and start searching. I had my eye on a pet hotel for awhile. (I know what you’re thinking. A pet hotel? WTF? A lot of people have that reaction.) The hotel opened up a few years ago and we got to take a tour of it. Ever since then, I thought it would be so cool to work there. So that’s exactly where I applied.

I wish it was like this...

Here’s a little info about the pet hotel: It’s exactly what it sounds like, it’s a hotel for cats and dogs. They have their own kennel (it’s big) and bed. Some of the rooms even have tv’s in them. I wish I was joking. They could also have playtime where they played with all the other dogs. In addition to that, they also got two walks a day where they basically just walked around the back of the hotel.

So I applied for the job and I got an interview. I really didn’t think I was going to get the job because the boss was a jerk. Then I got a call a week later asking if I still wanted the job. I was so stoked!

There was a dress code for the job: non slip shoes, cacky pants, a black belt, and the collared company shirt. It was such a hot outfit. All the boys were after me. Not. Anywho, I started training and I knew it was going to be long days. The shifts were about 8 hours each. 8 hours of purely being on your feet.

During those 8 hours, I did a bunch of different things. I checked dogs into the hotel, played with them during playtime, fed them, took them for walks, and cleaned their kennels. Dogs were constantly barking so I always went home with a headache. It smelled horrible. And I swear the manager sat in his office and looked at the security camera, waiting for the moment to yell at us through the walkie talkie.

Whenever we played with the dogs, there was a glass wall so the people in the store could watch us playing with the dogs and see how happy they were so they would then bring their pets there. I had to act all happy even though I was sometimes in there for 2 hours. During those 2 hours, I was hearing dogs bark, hearing my manager through the walkie talkie, picking up dog poo, breaking up dog fights, and trying to act happy even though I was hating it.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved those dogs. They were adorable and loved every minute of playing with the other dogs. But I just hated the manager. No matter what anybody did, they did it wrong. Not only was I working at the pet hotel, but I was also training for basketball. So after 8 hours of being on my feet and picking up dog poo, I had to come home and train. I was beyond exhausted everyday.

After about a month of working at the pet hotel, I quite. I didn’t really need the job. It was just a way to get more money. I was miserable and decided that it wasn’t worth it. It was definitely an interesting job though. I learned a lot about dogs and the different breeds. I met a GIANT great dane named Uli. He came everyday (there was also doggie day camp.) He was the gentle giant. Every time a fight between dogs would break out, he would be the first one to break it up by barking non stop.

After quitting the job, I had a lot more time to focus on training (and we all know how well that ended up 😉 ) I was also a lot less miserable so it was an awesome decision.

So with that being said, I’m on the job hunt again. Not necessarily at this moment, but I have my eye out for jobs around campus. I didn’t look for any first semester but now that I am more comfortable around campus, I want to make some money! 

What was your first job?
Any funny job stories? 

P.S. It’s your last day to enter the Popchips giveaway!

WWASBEBINPBD

It’s National Peanut Butter Day! You know what that means? Rather than WIAW, I’m going to be doing WWASBEBINPBD. (What We All Should Be Eating Because It’s National Peanut Butter Day.) Heck yes.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough from Keep’n the Faith

Peanut Butter Chocolate Pillows from Post Punk Kitchen

Peanut Butter Thumbprints from That’s So Vegan

Peanut Butter Cookie Frozen Yogurt from Healthy Food for Living

Peanut Soba Noodle Bowl From Cookie and Kate

Peanut Butter Maple Protein Bars from Dashing Dish

Peanut Butter and Honey Banana Blondies from Healthy Food for Living

Peanutty Banana Oat Muffins

Chocolate PB Cinnamon Cupcakes with Chocolate PB Honey Cinnamon Frosting by The Diva Dish 

Mini Peanut Butter Vegan Scones from With a Side of Sneakers

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Square from Fork and Beans

Honey Vanilla Peanut Butter from The Wannabe Chef

Honey Whole Wheat Peanut Butter Chippers from (Never Home)Maker

And most importantly, eat a big spoonful of peanut butter. Then again, you should do that everyday.

What’s you favorite kind of peanut butter?
How do you like to eat peanut butter? 

sales, rain, and a rant

1. Last night, we watched House of Wax. Don’t watch it. It’s disturbing and gross. After, we watched something happy to lighten the mood: Megamind. Do watch this one. It’s hilarious. I could not stop laughing 99% of the time. Who said animated movies were only for kids? Not me, that’s for sure.

2. I am such a sucker for sale items. I went to the market today for eggs and carrots. That’s all I needed. So I got those two things…

Then I started to see those yellow tabs that hang down from the sale items. It just attracts me like a magnet or something! 

I got my favorite salad dressing: Annie’s Lite Gingerfly. It was $2 cheaper than normal. Considering I use it everyday, it was an investment I had to make. Then the Field Roast was also on sale for $3 cheaper. There’s butternut squash and apple stuffed inside. It will be like a Thanksgiving feast in my mouth. Then the tofu was $2 cheaper. I love tofu and this one is marinated so it’s perfect for in the dorm. But gahhh! Why oh why must sale items be so awesome??

3. Have you ever heard of the show The Walking Dead? My mom told me about it and at first, I was a bit skeptical. It’s about a group of people trying to survive zombies and figure out how the world came to where it is (full of zombies). I knowwww it sounds stupid. I mean, really, zombies? That was my same exact thought but then I watched it and it is awesomeeee. It’s way more than just about zombies. There are awesome relationships between the people. It reminds me a little of Lost. Just a little. Then again, I try to relate everything to Lost.

4. Heidi Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. What the flip?! I didn’t see that one coming. 

5. It’s been raining nonstop here and I have been LOVING it. In Orange County, it is nothing but sunny. Don’t get me wrong. I love the sun and all that Vitamin D goodness but when it comes down to it, it’s just too boring for me. I love bundling up in layers. I love going to bed at night and hearing the raindrops. It’s awesome. I’m one of the few that actually like it but that’s just me. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow and fingers crossed they’re right!

6. I was going to do a post ranting about my roommate but I didn’t want to get all Negative Nancy on you guys. I did tweet a rant last night though…

Every. Single. Day. Not once. Not twice. She does it like 10 times a day. WTF?! And she NEVER says excuse me. Yeah and she wants to be roommates next year…no thanks.

7. I get my stitches out of my wrist tomorrow. Weeee! It’s been feeling really good so I am going to start lifting weights again. Tomorrow is legs so I don’t need to worry about my wrist quite yet. We’ll see how it goes but I am stoked because I have been going coo-coo on the elliptical and bikes. Coo-coo I tell you!

Don’t forget to enter my giveaway to win a one month’s supply of Popchips!

(Want another giveaway to enter? Check out This Fit Chick’s giveaway.)

Are you a sucker for sale items?
What’s your favorite kind of weather?
What’s your biggest pet peeve?