Senior year of high school. The year where so many memories are made. There are dances to go to, football games to attend, parties to party hard at. That’s what the normal senior would do in high school. But I wasn’t a normal high schooler.
During my junior year of high school, my best friend and I told each other that we were going to go to all the school dances senior year: homecoming, winter formal, and prom. I had only gone to one dance before that, which was winter formal during junior year. I had a good time, but it wasn’t amazing.
Then that summer hit. And it hit hard. My eating disorder took over my life. I secluded myself from a lot of friends, even though I still had one year left of high school.
Within the first month of senior year, one of my friends pulled me aside to tell me she was worried about me. That’s when the therapy appointments started. That’s when I began to seclude myself even more.
Early into the year, I signed with my current college to play basketball. That meant that I didn’t have to worry about getting into a school. You would think that this would help me lighten up and get out there more, but nope. It didn’t.
A month into my recovery, and the first school dance came. It was homecoming. I didn’t want to go, at all. But I told my friend that I would, so I did. I did the usual: got all dressed up, did my make-up, and met up with a group of friends to take pictures. That part was fun. But then we left to go to dinner and the school for the actual dance. I was miserable the entire time. I didn’t want to be there. I thought about leaving early multiple times but I gritted my teeth and stayed. After that night, I didn’t want to go to a dance again. It was a waste of money, and I didn’t have fun.
Along with the homecoming dance, there was the homecoming football game. During the halftime show, each grade performs a dance based off the theme that year. I could have been in the show but, once again, I decided to seclude myself.
After homecoming, there was winter formal. I decided not to go, and my best friend didn’t go either. My best friend and I hung out instead, a way better decision.
Then there was prom. Senior prom. The dance that so many people are excited for. My best friend was going. She begged me to go. But I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to spend all that money on being miserable, once again. So while all my other friends were dancing the night away, I spent it at home. Alone.
So as you can see, my senior year wasn’t that great. I spent my time going from school, to basketball practice, to therapy, and back to basketball practice.
Basically, I spent my senior year being a fly on the wall. Do I regret it? Yeah, a little. But I don’t let it eat at me. High school was only a small part of my life. I always told myself that I was going to better places. And I still believe it. Even though I didn’t make the most out of my high school experience, I still left it with the best friend I could ask for.
Went I went to visit my high school the other day, I realized just how well, stupid, all the drama was. As I said, I wanted to sit with every kid who sat by themselves. I wanted to tell them that none of it matters. Nobody is going to remember who had those $500 jeans or new car. Nobody cares.
Kate had a funny story about high school which I just had to share:
“I had tons of friends and was happy, but the “popular” girls always made fun of me…UNTIL I lost a ton of weight the summer before senior year, and suddenly they all wanted to be my friend? Ugh, makes me want to vomit. Now of course I’ve graduated from one of the best colleges in the country, and most of those girls were college dropouts…I had a great “hah” moment when one of them rung up my coffee at Wawa (sort of a classy version of 7-11) here.”
College is a whole different ball game than high school. I love it. Even then, I knew how immature the kids were. I kept my group of friends small, but I knew that I could count on them for anything. While most kids left with crazy weekends, pictures of high school dances, and 1,000 Facebook friends, I left with a best friend.
Because when it comes right down to it, I know she will be by my side through thick and thin. And that is the best thing that came out of my high school experience.
So here’s the moral of the story: high school sucks, it really does. But don’t let it define who you are. It is only a tiny part of your life. There is still so much to see and do.
How was your high school experience?