why life is better without an eating disorder

Hey guys! So I mentioned on the About Me page that I dealt with an eating disorder but that’s just about where I left it. One day I will write a post about my past but at this point, I am so happy that I don’t want to look back on that time in my life. I know a lot of people out there that read health blogs have/had eating disorders and that it can be an uphill battle each and every day. Trust me, I’ve been there and some days I fall back into it. Today, I wanted to share with you guys why life is so much better with an eating disorder. I don’t know if this will help anybody or not, but it sure will help me to look back on on those days ED start to take over.

You Are Able to Give Back

my best friend and me

During our senior year of high school, my best friend and I decided to cut our hair and donate it to Locks of Love. Locks of Love is a great organization that takes hair from people that donated and makes them into wigs for cancer patients. Once summer came, we headed to the hair salon and chopped off our locks. I cut off 10 inches. I was so happy in my decision to do such a great thing for those less fortunate. Doing such an unselfish thing made me realize just how precious life is and just how important life is. During my eating disorder, I could care less about life. The only thing that I wanted was to be “perfect” and “skinny.” Now, I would chop my hair off for those cancer patients again in a heartbeat. Life is too precious.

Working Out Is So Much More Fun

i ❤ exercise!

During my eating disorder, I would workout because it burned calories. As long as I was constantly moving (tapping my foot, walking around, etc), I was happy because that meant I was burning more calories. I would never look at exercise as a way for me to feel better, happier, healthier. In fact, I would hate working out because I would feel so tired and worn out due to the fact I wasn’t fueling my body. A typical day would include 2-3 hours of working out. By the end of that work out, all I would want to do was sleep and gain enough energy for my next workout. Now, I actually enjoy working out. I enjoy moving my body. I enjoy the way I feel afterwards. I even enjoy those days I take off. It took me awhile to come to this point of actually enjoying exercise but I have never been happier. Now, I workout when I want, if I want, and how I want. All because I want to. Not because my ED wants me to.

You Are Able to Actually Enjoy Food

get in mahh belly!

As we all know, an ED makes you hate food. You hate when you have to eat. Then you hate when you finally do eat. During my ED, I loved the feeling of my stomach eating itself. It made me feel in control. Like I was becoming skinny at that very moment. Now, I cannot stand that feeling. I feel like my muscles are eating each other. Without an ED, I am able to enjoy foods, to savor them, to like them. Nut butters, bread, coconut, chicken, olive oil, sweet potatoes. All those foods were on my “fear foods” list. Now, I cannot imagine my life without them. I mean, a day with purely vegetables and fruit may work for some people, but not this girl!

Outings Are So Much More Fun

my new bff

A typical day while I had my ED included: working out, eating, counting the calories I ate, working out, sleeping, looking at food I wish I could have been eating, and more sleeping. I could never work up the energy to hang out with my family or friends. I would have much rather spent my time working out or looking up food stuff. Ever since I have let go of my ED, I have never been happier to hang out with the people around me. Even the little outings are fun. And I noticed that when I’m having fun, so do the people around me. They’re not worrying about me anymore. They’re enjoying themselves. And I enjoy myself too.

Life Basically Becomes Way Better

me and my babyyy

I can’t even put into words how much I have been loving life. I love waking up every morning, going to class, meeting new people, eating good food, working out, doing homework, and basically every other possible thing. During my ED, I was so depressed that as much as I hate to say this now, I contemplated taking my own life. Now, I am so happy that I never followed through with those horrible thoughts. I ❤ life! And you know what…Life ❤ me too!

I hope this helped somebody out there! Just remember…

YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE YOU!

 Don’t you ever ever everrrr forget that.

If anybody wants to talk or has any questions, feel free to email me: adidasqueen1000@yahoo.com

Have a beautiful rest of the day and remember just how special you and your life really is ❤

(p.s. I am working on my eating disorder story. It will probably end up being 3 parts…so stay tuned.)

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25 thoughts on “why life is better without an eating disorder

  1. This post made me smile! I went through the exact same situation as you. Now my whole outlook on life has changed….the way I view exercise, safe foods.
    Life is so much more fun when your not constantly tired and stressing what your next meal will consist of!

  2. i love this post!! a girl who graduated the year before me from high school had ovarian cancer, and when i found out she was terminally ill i donated my hair as well. it was such a good feeling! i know donating my hair couldn’t help her, and i still can’t believe she’s gone, but it was nice knowing that my hair made a difference in someone’s life. i also love giving blood for similar reasons- and i found both help me to love my body for what it DOES, rather than hate it for what i perceive it to look like.

  3. Oh my gosh, this post is so inspiring! i am struggling with recovery at the moment and the idea that i would be able to let go of all this crap and live life the way i truly want to seems like an impossible dream right now. but i can see that it IS possible, its just a case of knowing how to get there….
    if you have any advice or tips, please check out my blog and post me a message, id welcome any ideas. you seem so happy and free, id like a piece of that!!! 😛

    • i know that it may seem like life won’t get better but it really will! thinking about enjoying life during recovery can be an impossible dream but you can do it 🙂 being happy didn’t happen overnight…trust me. i had highs and lows. and my lowest of lows were very dark and depressing. you will be happy again one day! it might not happen tomorrow or next week, but it will happen one day! keep your head up 🙂

  4. yesyesyessss I agree 100 percent!!! There is no way I could run the way I do now if I was only eating 800 calories a day. Nor would I be able to focus in school or have fun with friends. Also it’s great that I’m not constantly thinking about how much or when I’m going to eat next. I just eat when I’m feeling it and how much I’m feeling rather than making it a science project.

    • exactly! thinking about the next meal and how many calories it is was so time consuming. i’m glad your better now 🙂

    • ED will do suck because you miss out on so much. but not anymore! and i’m glad you liked the post 🙂 thanks for the support!

  5. What an awesome post!!! I was never diagnosed with anorexia, but I did have an eating disorder when I was about 16… I haven’t been able to blog about it yet either, but — like you — I’m working on a 3 part series about it. I can’t wait to read your story… it will give so many readers hope that they too can overcome their ED. Thanks for this! 🙂

  6. Hi, Haley! I’m glad you found my blog so that I could find yours–thanks for commenting! I loved reading this post because you are so right; life is precious and it is something that we should cherish each and every day. l look forward to reading more 🙂

  7. This was a beautiful post and something I probably need to bookmark! love all these reasons and could not agree more. so happy you choose to live life and find these happy things than live with Ed. Looking forward to reading about your Ed story and hope that you find it therapeutic and empowering to be able to talk about your eating disorder so openly.

  8. Pingback: for the love of peanut butter | Health Freak College Girl

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